Wednesday, January 30, 2013

Bread maker I am NOT!

I have been trying for weeks now to make homemade bread.
Not only is it better for's cheaper!
Well that is if it actually turns out for you,which none of mine have.

I don't know what my problem is but I can NOT seem to make this stuff.
I have made buns and they turned out..OK.
I can make pretzels and they turn out pretty good.
I just can't do bread.

Yesterday I tried again and failed.

But looks pretty good.Well yes it does until you factor in that it should look like this..

AND factor in that it didn't rise AT ALL until finally 3 hours later when  I said "what the heck" rolled it up and threw it in the oven anyway.
once it came out and cooled we cut into and tasted it..

all I can say is it tasted like...umm whats that stuff we used to eat in Kindergaren??..

Oh I know paste!only this tasted like dried paste..(don't ask me how I know that)

Ya it was..not good.

I have spent countless hours,mixing,kneading,punching and cursing this stuff not to mention the amount of flour I have gone through..well I give up.

Even the.."you can't get an easier bread recipe" recipe,eludes me.

I did however find a great use for the stuff

Yep,I am making a cake for a friend and this was perfect for testing out the topper.
Skewers go right through it and it's pasty enough to hold them without falling over..
.heavy enough too.

BTW I do not plan on making the cake from scratch..I have learned that lesson all too well.


  1. bwahahahahah.... but you can CRAFT like nobody's business ;-) I should give break making a whirl since I'm home without a full-time job now and if I can save some bucks then... well, all the better!

  2. It could possible be your yeast. If it's 'dead', it will cause lots of headaches.

  3. I suspect you have dead yeast. Once I stop laughing my A$$ off, if I have any other suggestions, I'll let you know. ha ha hahahahahha

  4. Temperature - water and air - will impact bread too. If your water is too hot it will kill the yeast. If it is too cold (or the air too cool) dough does not rise well. I rarely use whole wheat flour, but if that's what your are using, I remember something about it needing gluten to rise... From King Arthur Flour website "Vital wheat gluten provides the extra gluten that whole-grain loaves need to rise their highest. It's particularly helpful with loaves that have low-gluten whole grain flours, such as rye, oat, teff, spelt, or buckwheat." Good luck!

  5. There are a couple of things you could try. Check your yeast - it doesn't have a great shelf life. My mom has been baking bread for years and she prefers fresh yeast which she buys from the bakery at the grocery store (Sobey's). Also, she says for bread to rise properly, it has to be "undisturbed". Meaning away from drafts and in a warm area. She always covers the dough with a clean tea towel. I guess the last thing is if bread is over-kneaded it won't rise because the dough becomes tough. I hope these tips help! :0)

  6. Chris, I have never baked bread, nor made pie crust. My motto: "why make what you can buy", so I'm no help at all. But, I love your skewers!

    1. I am with you, Julie! No help, but I do admire you, Chris, for trying!

  7. Sometimes when I am making bread I sprinkle just a little bit of sugar in my yeast when proofing. Did you proof your yeast first? I use regular yeast not quick rise, that way I can proof it and make sure that the yeast is still bubbling.

    1. Oh forgot to add, the sugar serves to sort of kick start the yeast, since yeast feeds off sugars.

    2. Oh! That's right! Yeast needs something to feed on to make the gas to make it rise! (see, I was paying attention in the kids' field trip to the pizza parlor.)

  8. I give you lots of cheers for trying! I have never made breads, other than banana, zucchini, etc. Great cake topper!

  9. This is why I use a bread machine. As long as I make sure the water temp isn't too warm or cool, it turns out perfect every time. :-)

  10. This is why I leave making bread to the professionals.